Adventures in Shopping
by Elle Knight
Summary: A companion piece to 'Of Time and Blue Boxes'. Alix thinks it's time to clean up the TARDIS, Jack is mesmerized by candy, and the Doctor plays referee. One shot.


Here's another one! This is going to be the last one-shot before I start writing another multi-chapter fic. This takes place between Passion Dance and Alix, Jack, and Ten's pending vacation. (Yes, they will certainly have an interesting vacation.) This is just a bit of silliness before more chaos.

This story is dedicated to my friends M. and D., and the interesting situation I found myself in when they were begging me for candy in a Michael's craft store. Blame their silliness for my inspiration. I love you guys:-) I also partially blame the fact that I work at a grocery store and often wonder what would happen if the Doctor, Alix, and Jack came through my checkout line.

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**Adventures in Shopping**

"Let's see," Alix trailed her finger, slowly, down their grocery list. She'd made it in great haste, going to the Doctor in desperation; not being able to take the dishes piling up in the kitchen and the great mound of clothes in the hall outside her bedroom door anymore. Begging to take them to a decent grocery store for cleaning supplies, he'd given in, bringing them to a small suburb right outside of Chicago, Illinois. The moment they'd entered the store, Jack had gone absolutely berserk. He'd wanted to buy everything, to try _everything_. She supposed the 51st century was radically different than what she considered modern times.

Now, beside her, the Doctor strolled, calmly, casually glancing at the list. He looked at her, expectantly, waiting for her to finish.

"I think we'll need one of those Swifer mops and a couple of the wet wipes that go along with them." They already had half of the "Household Cleaners" aisle in their cart. She waited for him to make some kind of comment on this, but he stayed silent. Instead, he dropped the items in the cart, waiting for more instructions.

"Okay," Alix said, studying the various bottles of Mr. Clean, Palmolive, and Windex piled next to each other, "I think we're done here." The Doctor sighed loudly at this.

"I thought you'd never quit. I think we have enough chemicals in there to level the whole solar system!" Alix just glared at him, watching him move away from her toward the next aisle. "Where are you going?"

"The candy aisle. I want to buy some jelly babies. My stores are running a bit low."

"Doctor, we're in America, remember?" He stopped, suddenly, looking back at her.

"Oh…right."

"Try Sour Patch Kids. They're nearly the same…I think."

"Sour Patch Kids," he mumbled to himself. "Sour Patch Kids," it was a bit louder this time. "Right."

Watching him go, her ears suddenly caught on to the sounds of a loud crash in the aisle behind her.

"Jack!" She turned the cart around as quickly as it would go. Silently, she cursed the rusting wheels that made it steer crooked. "What did you do?" A shelf at the beginning of the aisle had been tipped on to the floor. She shot him an accusatory look.

"What?" Jack cocked his head, innocently. "I was just trying to reach something on the top shelf."

"You're not supposed to stand on them!" She practically screamed, bending to pick up the cans of soup that had rolled toward her feet. "What were you trying to get?"

"Alfredo Sauce." A strange look worked its way over Alix's face.

"What for?"

"I was thinking I'd cook dinner for you one night when we're on vacation." He smiled, brilliantly.

"Oh, no. You're not getting off that easy!" He flashed her a look of mock hurt.

"How could you even think that?"

"You're hopeless, absolutely hopeless!"

"Stop it you two!" The Doctor roared. There was a sudden silence. "That's better." He smiled then, walking towards the two as if nothing had happened. He held up a brightly colored package toward Alix. "Found them." Dropping them into the cart, he glanced at the floor. "What happened here?"

"Him." Alix jerked her thumb in Jack's direction.

"You can't blame me entirely for this. Maybe _somebody_ should have warned me before taking me to a grocery store in the 21st century." He shot Alix a scathing look.

"Hey, you're a Time Agent. You should _know_ these things."

"Well, Time Agents really don't find many reasons to stop at the local grocery store for toilet paper." Alix was silent then, knowing that she'd been beaten.

"Well, now that's sorted itself out, perhaps we'd better go to the check out." The Doctor's voice was cheery. Alix glanced at the floor, noticing that it was unexpectantly clean.

"I know better than to ask." The Doctor flashed her a secret smile, not failing to notice the death glare she managed to flash Jack. He moved between them, leading Alix to walk beside him with a hand on the small of her back.

There was almost no line at the registers. It was nearing 9:00, and there were only a few lingering customers besides the three friends. The Doctor gave Alix a hand as she loaded the countless cleaner bottles on to the conveyor belt.

"Thanks." She smiled at him; her anger at Jack's thickheadedness waning…that was until she heard a loud cry behind her.

"Oh, oh! What's all this?" Jack was gawking at the massive candy stand next to the check out; his eyes gleaming, eagerly. The Doctor rolled his eyes, dramatically. Alix suppressed a giggle at the two of them. She half suspected that the Doctor was doing this just so she wouldn't go off at Jack again.

"Wait, why have you never told me about this? How cool is that?" He leaned in toward the Doctor. "That is the right word, cool?" The Doctor shook his head. "All the candy you could want, right here, for you when you're ready to pay. Amazing!" He sounded genuinely awestruck. "Can I get some?" He looked toward Alix, expectantly.

"Your friend seems really excited over there." The cashier spoke up, her eyebrows raised in amusement. The Doctor stepped forward, peering at her name tag. "Elle" was spelled out in bold, black letters.

"Elle," he spoke up, "what an interesting name."

"You would not believe how many people tell me that in one day," she laughed, lightly. He smiled at her. Distracting her hadn't been that difficult, and had even bought Alix and Jack some time to talk civilly. (With some hope.)

"What do you want?" The Doctor heard Alix ask Jack.

"Well, one of these," he plucked a Snickers bar from the shelf, "and _definitely_ one of these!" He held up a Take 5 bar. "How could I deny pretzels, chocolate, caramel, peanuts, and peanut butter all in one bite? Yum."

"I suppose you can get one more. That's it, though." The Doctor forced himself to concentrate on the cashier's words as he felt the urge to laugh at the sternness in Alix's voice.

"Just three, why?" If he didn't know better, the Doctor would have sworn that Jack was whining.

"Because I said so, and _I'm_ paying. Do you know how bad those things are for you?"

"Nothing can ruin this beautiful body." He waggled his eyebrows at Alix, flexing a bicep. Alix rolled her eyes.

"Well, if you eat all the candy bars here you're certainly going to be dragging more than a bit of fat around!"

While Alix and Jack's argument had escalated once again, the Doctor had managed to empty the cart and been told the total. Pulling out a great wad of cash, he rifled through the bills, trying to find the right kind of currency for the location and time. He finally located a U.S. twenty dollar bill, handing it to the cashier. She gave him the change, and he loaded the grocery bags into his cart, shooting a glance at Alix and Jack. They didn't seem to be giving up any time soon. Pushing the cart closer to the door, he planned on making a hasty escape. Grabbing a Twix bar from the shelf, he yanked Alix and Jack after him, throwing the change he'd received toward the cashier for the candy bars that were still clutched in Jack's hand.

"Let's go." His voice was firm, like a father annoyed with his children who'd done nothing but misbehave for him. "Now!"

The bewildered cashier stared after the three, their screaming dying away as they moved out into the parking lot. The remaining customers in the store peaked out from the aisles, wondering what had happened. For once, the cashier was silently thankful that there was never much excitement in her little corner of the world.


End file.
